Separating? Keep it Positive

When a marriage doesn’t work out it can be devastating.  But once the hurt subsides there can be positive ways couples can work through a separation. This blog provides tips on how couples can separate in a positive way.

A Positive Story of Separation

I’d like to share a story of a beautiful couple that recently used Legally Yours services. The wife approached Legally Yours and we connected her with a fixed fee lawyer who drafted up Consent Orders with regards to financial and parenting matters.  The couple had one child from their marriage and before they approached any lawyers, they had accessed a counselling service where they were able to reach agreement on many major issues, such as how they were going to a parent moving forward, who was going to live in the matrimonial home etc.  This counselling service worked with both parents, and also the child, to try and ascertain how best the couple could parent together as a separated couple moving forward.

After each of them received independent legal advice and the agreements were registered and approved with the Family Court, the husband and wife, together with their child, went on a family holiday together.  Upon their return, the wife contacted Legally Yours and thanked us for all our support in helping her and her husband separate in an amicable and positive way. She told us that in some respects their relationship was better than ever, as the pressures that had existed in their marriage were no longer there, and both of them could now devote themselves to parenting their child in a positive way together as friends.

It was such a heart-warming story, because most people associate separation and divorce with anger, hurt, disappointment and failure.  But in some instances, separating can be a positive decision for everyone involved. It takes strength to acknowledge that circumstances may not be working and that it isn’t healthy for children to be around parents who constantly argue and are unhappy.

From a Legal Perspective

We would recommend that where possible separating parents access a good counselling service before approaching lawyers.  A good counselling service will understand the requirements of the Family Court when it comes to the approval of parenting plans and/or Consent Orders and will be able to work with the couple and their children to ensure any agreement reached can be followed in a practical way after the divorce is final.

If separating couples approach lawyers after the counselling process, legal costs will then be minimized and the legal process will be more streamlined and efficient, enabling couples to get on with the most important job of parenting their children in a supportive and positive way.  Remember, when approaching a family lawyer, always ask for a free initial consultation and then fixed-fee quote for drafting your legal documents.

Try and keep it positive

So if you’re separating, try and keep it positive. The more you retain control of the important decisions in your lives, the easier it will be to separate with minimal emotional turmoil to yourselves and your children.  Whilst your marriage may be at an end, you will always be co-parents to your children and if you can both find it in your hearts to remain, friends, your children’s best interests can still be maintained after a separation has occurred.

Connect with a family lawyer who will minimise your legal fees. If you would like to book a Quick Match, please follow the links on the Legally Yours website.

This article is written by Karen Finch and was first published on the Legally Yours website.

This article does not constitute legal advice or a legal opinion on any matter discussed and, accordingly, it should not be relied upon. It should not be regarded as a comprehensive statement of the law and practice in this area. If you require any advice or information, please speak to practising lawyer in your jurisdiction. No individual who is a member, partner, shareholder or consultant of, in or to any constituent part of Legally Yours Pty Ltd accepts or assumes responsibility, or has any liability, to any person in respect of this article.

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